Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
