Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize