New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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