Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
