Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
