guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
