you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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