Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
