8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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