I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
