It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
