Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
