The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
