Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
