I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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