Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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