I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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