I'm gonna have a badass scar
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
