her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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