I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
