no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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