areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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