I love black thongs
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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