Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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