i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
