Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
that is very illegal...i love you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
