If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
