He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
