Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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