I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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