So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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