his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
