No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
