And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
