Having a random hookup so left but love u
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
