Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
