Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
