it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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