Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
