Me too!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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