cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
