You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
