You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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