Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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