My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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