You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
