There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
