he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
