How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
