who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize