dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize