gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
