I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize