I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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