yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize