She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
