I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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