is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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