Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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