she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You smell like stripper and shame
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
