Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
