So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
