I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
