she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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