I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
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you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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