And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
