why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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