in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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