I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
